Archive for March, 2009

Hey guess what!

Apparently violent attacks by white racists on people who look as if they might be Indian have been on the rise in Melbourne, and the Victorian police have put their thinking caps on, chewed the ends of their pencils, and come up with a brilliant and effective solution that treats the root cause of this repugnancy! This builds on their generally phenomenal policing techniques and all-around commitment to justice and proportional response, demonstrated in a laudable fashion by the time last year when they did not even for a second think of  shooting dead a child.

So back to how they’re comprehensively tackling racist violence to keep the community safe! Here it is: if you’re a person of colour in Melbourne, you need to stuff your laptop up your shirt and keep it down in the presence of normal, quiet white people. IT’S THAT SIMPLE! Sushi Das elaborates:

As long as I keep barking at top volume, deafening everyone around me, I put myself at great risk of attack. I’ve pressed this upon fellow Indians, but few agree with me. In fact, since Inspector Mahony made his comments, they’ve been hopping mad. I know because I interviewed a few of them last week.

“Isn’t it funny?” shouted one chap down the phone. “A First World country is telling Third World students: please don’t show your laptops and iPods because these things are objects of desire in this country!


I know I should be more like the locals, whose dulcet tones are world renowned. The Australian way of speaking is so much gentler, more sophisticated, reserved even.

As a white person who has NEVER, EVER been loud, uncouth or annoying on public transport, I completely sympathise with my fellow white people who just want a quiet train trip. Last time I wanted to make my commute more serene, relaxing, and European, I beat the shit out of an Indian person and stole their iPod. Worked a fucking charm.


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I’ve been in an imposed non-blogging period, mostly because I can’t find an internet plan costing less than $4860986094 per month and I’m not willing to mortgage my sister to pay for my blog. Consider this a brief reprieve from the drought, motivated mainly by disgust.

This is a short summary of an article that appeared in the SMH’s weekend life and style supplement, the core message of which was that married men with higher libidos than their wives should be allowed to have sex with them whenever the fancy strikes.

A woman, 54, from Hobart spent the first 10 years of her marriage fighting about sex, always nervous about an unwanted advance. “He’d be snoring loudly and I’d still lie there worrying that the hand was going to come creeping over.”

This is the “issue”: women in heterosexual marriages being undesiring of sex with their husbands. This poor woman, who lived in acute and daily fear of rape, is characterised as being in possession of a Serious Fucking Problem, a “low libido”. I just, for the life of me, cannot understand how someone’s brain could read her experiences and immediately peg her as the problem. What about her disgusting rapist husband? That’s her Serious Fucking Problem.

I can’t even do the rest of the piece justice, it contains so many violently misogynist tropes. It presents women as the deviant, their bodies as commodities and possessions, strips them of bodily sovereignty, ignores their sexual pleasure, ignores non-het relationships, justifies extreme male privilege, advocates rape. It’s like someone presented the author (who is a woman) with a lucky dip of woman-hating and she decided to steal the entire bag and run for the hills.

All of this illustrates, I suppose, that the Herald is less a daily broadsheet and more a dissemination tool for sick social hygiene messages from 1952. Yay.

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